We have a rather eccentric neighbour living next door… I use the word eccentric, rather than crazy, for several reasons: 1) it is smarter and makes me sound clever; and 2) it is a bit less judgmental. So, my elderly eccentric neighbour likes to stop on the street and impart useful nuggets of wisdom, commentary and (at times) criticism. They are equal parts confusing, offensive and very amusing.
The first encounter of note with our favourite neighbour was about 2 months after Ziggy was born and we had just gotten back from a long walk when she stopped me and very helpfully pointed out that I was ‘too fat’. Now, there is a definite language barrier here but these two words were crystal clear and open to no interpretation. There was even some helpful pointing at my stomach to really ram the point home when I stared at her in a dumbstruck way, just to make sure I hadn’t misunderstood. Helpful, thank you.
Our next installment in the world’s most entertaining neighbour series was the winning ‘why baby cry?’ episode which I gave the full wry, caustic and at times (hopefully) amusing treatment in a previous blog post.
The latest tale of wonder came about a week ago when she stopped me as I was putting Ziggy into his pram from the car and she sticks her head right into the pram for a good look, then pulls back with a frown and says ‘don’t feed baby so much!’ and then pantomimes by gabbing her own cheeks to indicate that Ziggy does, in fact, have some sizable cheeks on him. Yes, yes he does. Ziggy was born with epic cheeks, the cheeks are a force unto themselves and nothing can stop them. They are the runaway freight train of cheeks, the Incredible Hulk of cheeks, the Cassius Clay of cheeks! They are amazing! I pointed out that I was breastfeeding and not actually force feeding my son in order to artificially enlarge his cheeks to gargantuan proportions and she seemed to accept that and proceeded to call him a ‘good baby.’ Thanks so much… very helpful as always.
There are countless more stories to be told about our delightful neighbour including ‘the random peanuts in tinfoil’, ‘the pruning of the traffic island’, ‘the fight with the bin man’ and ‘the pruning of the tree… that was actually ours’, but I am going to save them for a later post. In the meantime here they are in all their glory, the cheeks!